The past week I have been at work every morning and a couple of afternoons. I have also been doing some work from home. All went well until Friday when I felt as if I had a virus or something. I must admit that I had been going downhill slightly from Wednesday. Over the weekend I slowly recovered, this morning (Monday) I was back to feeling fine.
Sunday I did my normal weekly weigh-in and found I had put on no weight for the week. I got quite concerned at the lack of weight gain, plus the way I was not feeling great, until I looked back at my first week back at work after my first liver surgery, I lost 0.5Kg that week and struggled with fatigue as well. So clearly my progress is quite consistent, and no worse than my earlier recovery. However I am finding this slow rate of recovery very frustrating. In my respects I feel quite good, I just want to get on with life and work.
I am quite proud at one big step to normality I made last week. My oncology appointment, due tomorrow to look at progress and next steps, conflicted with an important meeting at work. So I have deferred the oncology appointment by one week. This is the first time in over 18 months that I have given my medical treatment a lower priority in favour of a normal working life.
This week I will continue with every morning at work, and just see how the rest of the day evolves.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Real Progress - And What Is Next?
Last Wednesday I went into work for one hour, just to get my laptop on line and make sure all was OK with my environment there. Next day I went in for 3 hours in the morning, but was really stuffed by midday, I expected that, but my time at work was good. It felt really good to be getting back to normal.
On Friday ( a public holiday here) we went to Glentunnel and spend the weekend in the caravan. It went OK, but weather on Saturday was cold and wet and it got to me a bit, we did have lots of rest though. Today we brought the caravan back, we will tidy it up and get a bit of maintenance done on it and then sell it. Realistically the very large caravan plus heavy duty utility in front is a bit much for us to handle now and we want to be prepared for a worse case scenario where I may go downhill again quite soon (very unlikely).
I must say that I have got a bit uneasy over the past couple of months at the number of well known (to me) people who have been diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer, or who have died from cancer (mostly colon cancer). Going back to work only added to this unease as the building we work in has a new front tenant, Vodafone has moved out and The Cancer Society of New Zealand is moving in. While I can ignore these "signals", it is a concern that New Zealand has the highest rate on colon cancer in the world, and the Canterbury region has the highest rate of colon cancer of any province in New Zealand (Christchurch is Canterbury's home city)
In terms of the decision in 10 days, about next stage treatment and/or monitoring, from a logical perspective chemotherapy would statistically not contribute to my desire of as many good quality days in life - it would almost certainly only extend life or non-recurrence by a few months, while potentially causing more damage to me.
From a non-logical perspective, most days now I have a period of time, gradually increasing and now a bit more than an hour a day, when I feel really good and fit, in a way that I have not had for near than 2
years, before I had my first liver resection. That suggests my body and mind is telling me that they are making me better and I should just continue as I am at the moment, with no more intervention. The
only problem with a decision based on such an apparently illogical approach is that it may be a cop out, my gut feeling is that I don't want any more chemo or surgery and just want to focus on my Life.
On Friday ( a public holiday here) we went to Glentunnel and spend the weekend in the caravan. It went OK, but weather on Saturday was cold and wet and it got to me a bit, we did have lots of rest though. Today we brought the caravan back, we will tidy it up and get a bit of maintenance done on it and then sell it. Realistically the very large caravan plus heavy duty utility in front is a bit much for us to handle now and we want to be prepared for a worse case scenario where I may go downhill again quite soon (very unlikely).
I must say that I have got a bit uneasy over the past couple of months at the number of well known (to me) people who have been diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer, or who have died from cancer (mostly colon cancer). Going back to work only added to this unease as the building we work in has a new front tenant, Vodafone has moved out and The Cancer Society of New Zealand is moving in. While I can ignore these "signals", it is a concern that New Zealand has the highest rate on colon cancer in the world, and the Canterbury region has the highest rate of colon cancer of any province in New Zealand (Christchurch is Canterbury's home city)
In terms of the decision in 10 days, about next stage treatment and/or monitoring, from a logical perspective chemotherapy would statistically not contribute to my desire of as many good quality days in life - it would almost certainly only extend life or non-recurrence by a few months, while potentially causing more damage to me.
From a non-logical perspective, most days now I have a period of time, gradually increasing and now a bit more than an hour a day, when I feel really good and fit, in a way that I have not had for near than 2
years, before I had my first liver resection. That suggests my body and mind is telling me that they are making me better and I should just continue as I am at the moment, with no more intervention. The
only problem with a decision based on such an apparently illogical approach is that it may be a cop out, my gut feeling is that I don't want any more chemo or surgery and just want to focus on my Life.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Getting Better, Slowly
Yesterday I visited the cardio-thoracic and oncology outpatients clinics. Prior to the clinics I had a chest X-Ray.
My lung is recovering OK, there is still some fluid remaining from my pleural effusion, but it is reducing. Lungs are clear and as far as cardio-thoracic is concerned, I am finished with them.
We had expected to be considering next treatment options with the oncologist today, but that did not happen for two reasons; I am not yet fit enough to be considered for any chemotherapy at this time, and I am not ready to even think about the options and their implications. The oncologist made it clear that this would be my decision as to which path I take now. We will meet again in 3 weeks, ideally any chemo should start as soon as possible after surgery but I am not ready for it, and I am really unsure that I want to suffer any more this year.
I am slowly recovering my energy, and am mostly up and about for 12 hours a day. However any exertion puts me back. For example, last Sunday we went out and bought a new BBQ, this meant traipsing through two stores. Then my brother and his wife visited for a couple of hours, it was not really a social visit with some serious discussion about our parents and how we can help them. Then I put the BBQ together and cooked with it. Monday I felt quite ill, because of the exertion of the day before. And when I got back from the hospital, with a lot of walking there, my lips were blue because I have not been breathing deeply enough. This morning, once again, I felt ill because of the hospital trips yesterday, but not as bad as I have been and this afternoon I am feeling OK.
The oncologist recommended that I not return to work until I don't need a day to recover after exertion, this should be some time next week at current progress.
My lung is recovering OK, there is still some fluid remaining from my pleural effusion, but it is reducing. Lungs are clear and as far as cardio-thoracic is concerned, I am finished with them.
We had expected to be considering next treatment options with the oncologist today, but that did not happen for two reasons; I am not yet fit enough to be considered for any chemotherapy at this time, and I am not ready to even think about the options and their implications. The oncologist made it clear that this would be my decision as to which path I take now. We will meet again in 3 weeks, ideally any chemo should start as soon as possible after surgery but I am not ready for it, and I am really unsure that I want to suffer any more this year.
I am slowly recovering my energy, and am mostly up and about for 12 hours a day. However any exertion puts me back. For example, last Sunday we went out and bought a new BBQ, this meant traipsing through two stores. Then my brother and his wife visited for a couple of hours, it was not really a social visit with some serious discussion about our parents and how we can help them. Then I put the BBQ together and cooked with it. Monday I felt quite ill, because of the exertion of the day before. And when I got back from the hospital, with a lot of walking there, my lips were blue because I have not been breathing deeply enough. This morning, once again, I felt ill because of the hospital trips yesterday, but not as bad as I have been and this afternoon I am feeling OK.
The oncologist recommended that I not return to work until I don't need a day to recover after exertion, this should be some time next week at current progress.
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